On His Own - Chapter 1
Samuel Simms was feeling sorry for himself. He lay along the thick branch of the huge, old mango tree planted in the centre of the yard. It was cool and dark in his hiding place, where he watched cars going back and forth along the roadway in the distance. He wondered where their occupants were going and what they would do, when they got to their destination.
‘Any place is better than this place. If I ran away or fell out of this tree and died, I wouldn’t be missed.’
Tears blurred his brown eyes as he thought about his increasing loneliness over the last two years.
‘Things weren’t so bad when Cassandra, Jamielle and Josh were here, but now all of them are gone. The boys aren’t bad, but it was a whole lot better when I had my family around. I’m almost twelve and I’ve been here for three years. Who would want to adopt me anyway?’
Sam sniffed and sat up, but his dangling feet gave away his location. He drew his legs up and leaned against the body of the tree. Until he was sure the tears were gone, he would stay put. The other boys would tease him if they suspected he was hiding in a tree, crying like a girl.
He folded his arms across his chest and counted cars to pass the time. A blue station wagon passed by that reminded him of Aunt Celia’s new vehicle. Thoughts about his aunt led him to thinking about his dead father.
He took out the photo hidden in his breast pocket. It was crinkled and curled at the edges from regular handling. He looked at it for a moment, memorizing again his father’s smiling face and the cluster of children around him. His mother was missing from the picture, but Sam thought that only right, since she was the reason he now lived in the home. The picture served as one of the few links to his father and a terrible reminder that Sam was on his own.
Christine, his older sister and Josh, his younger brother, still visited almost every week. They lived with Aunt Celia and though it was good to see them, Sam worked at not being too happy when they were around. They eventually went home and he would go back to being alone. Cassanda and Jamielle, his younger sisters, did not come as often. They lived further away, with a cousin of their mother’s who couldn’t have children, so they only came once every three weeks.
Sam left the home for short intervals, but always came back.
The first couple interested in fostering him, the Marsdens, returned him after one week. They had made the effort to be pleasant and Sam saw a chance for him to be part of a family again, but his new parents were uptight and frumpy. They were strict and their home a boring showpiece, that was full of rules. Don’t touch this, don’t move that. Don’t sit there! Careful, you might break that! Sam took refuge in being sullen and withdrawn, refusing to speak to either of them.
Sam’s biggest fear was that he would never see his brother and sisters again. The Marsdens had no interest in arranging for him to contact them as he found out after he hesitantly asked about a possible visit.
After he used a razor blade and his fingers to rip their cream leatherette, overstuffed settee and spilled juice on their expensive carpet, his new parents had had enough. They feared being unable to ‘rehabilitate him’ as he’d overheard Mr. Marsden telling the home’s Chief Administrator on the phone. In short order, he moved back into the bed he had occupied for eight months at the Hoopersville Place of Safety. He was ‘back to square one,’ as his father used to say.
Sam had not left the home since, except for a three-month stint with the Millers that he refused to talk about.
Using his collar, he dried runny eyes. ‘At this rate, I’ll be stuck in this tree all night.
“Sam! Sam!” a high-pitched voice called, coming closer.
“Sa-am!” Peter called and came to stand under his tree.
“What?” Sam asked irritably.
“You better come down or you mightn’t get any dinner,” Peter said, his head flung back as his bespectacled eyes peered up into the tree.
“Who cares?” Sam muttered as he wiped his face and prepared to climb down.
“What do you do up in that tree anyway?” Peter asked, arms akimbo in imitation of their house-mother, Mrs. Barnes.
“None of your business,” Sam said and immediately felt bad.
“Sorry,” he muttered at Peter.
“It’s okay, I understand,” Peter said “All of us have a special place. Mine’s under-never mind, better come before there’s nothing left for both of us.”
He hustled off toward the rambling main building.
Sam headed for the long, narrow room he shared with seven other boys, wiped off his feet and slid them into a pair of slippers. Mrs. Barnes, or Auntie B as the boys called her, would wring his ear if he appeared in the dining hall with dirty, bare feet.
He sighed as he walked up to the cracked formica counter and collected his dinner.
‘At least the food is good.’ Sam thought as he stuck his fork in, but he had no appetite. That had been the case since he’d come back from the Millers’ house three months ago.
He ate a few forkfuls and nodded when Peter turned greedy eyes on his plate. Peter pushed his empty plate at Sam and set to eating a second meal. Sam propped his chin on his hand and grinned, watching Peter wolf down the extra dinner and burp loudly, rubbing his overstuffed belly.
One of the workers turned a glare in Peter’s direction and he ducked his head and muttered an excuse. Sam wondered where Peter put all he ate, since he was as thin as a blade of grass.
After dinner, Sam sat in front of the television. He realized he wasn’t paying attention when boys and girls around him laughed out several times and he had no idea what they found so hilarious. He got up and headed to the dorm.
Digging though through his knapsack, he found a book borrowed from the school library. He flung himself on the single bed and tried to read. That didn’t work either. Sam threw the book under the bed and lay down on his side, staring into the coming darkness.
As warm tears slid down his face and into the pillow, his anger stirred. He dragged a rough hand across his eyes, rolled unto his back. Why don’t you be a man and stop crying?
Sam’s last thought before he slept brought a smile to his face. Christine, Josh and Aunt Celia would be visiting him the following afternoon.